We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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