Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He shit in the fireplace
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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