So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
