too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize