Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
