I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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