And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
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