The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
there is glitter all over my balls
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
