i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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