I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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