i just google imaged poop.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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