you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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