Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
