they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Everything about him screamed your future.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
