we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
