I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
