your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
