what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
