why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
