"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize