Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
