Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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