ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
