ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
