You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
