that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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