I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I think i got beer on your cat.
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