I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize