dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize