I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
