my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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