Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
