Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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