ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
