Joe is yelling at the trees again.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
