I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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