i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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