I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
