It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
