Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
