whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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