I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
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