The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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