We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
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She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize