Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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