R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
A bitchslap is in order.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
