Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
