So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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