I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
