Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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