i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
