ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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