i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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