Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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