Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
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and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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