Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
