if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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