if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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