i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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