If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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